The Sacred Self: Why Spirituality Matters in Counselling

We don’t always talk about the spiritual side of life - but it matters. Whether shaped by culture, nature, faith, or mystery, spirituality can be a vital part of healing.

In Western systems, science has often been elevated to the exclusion of soul, and colonisation has long suppressed indigenous spiritual knowledge. But things are shifting - and in the field of counselling, spirituality is making a welcome return.

As a counsellor, I don’t see spirituality as an optional extra. It’s a core part of human wellbeing. We bring our full selves into the room - grief, wonder, doubt, and belief - and for many, this includes the spiritual self.

Spirituality Is Not the Same for Everyone

For some, spirituality is prayer. For others, it’s found in the forest, in the ancestors, or simply in quiet reflection.

New Zealand is a richly multicultural nation. Our clients may come from Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Māori, Pacific, secular, or indigenous spiritual backgrounds - or any combination. As counsellors, we must be flexible and open enough to meet each person where they are.

And sometimes, that means knowing when to step aside. As NiaNia et al. (2017) suggest, when deeper indigenous spiritual healing is required, it’s appropriate to refer clients to cultural or spiritual leaders who can walk with them in ways we cannot.

Spiritual Tools in Practice

Two tools I’ve found useful in exploring spirituality in therapy are:

• Spiritual Lifemaps: A visual timeline of a client’s spiritual journey - highlighting high points, challenges, and patterns of meaning.

• Spiritual Genograms: A family map of spiritual traditions and beliefs, which can reveal generational patterns and ruptures.

But tools aside, sometimes the therapy space itself becomes something sacred.

There was a session I’ll never forget. It was my final meeting with a client, and something shifted. Time seemed to slow, the air felt dense and still, and we both sat in silence, completely connected. There was an almost audible boom.

My client asked, “Did you feel that?”I had. We both had.

I wondered if this was what Relational Depth feels like - the kind described by psychologist and researcher Mick Cooper, known for his work in pluralistic counselling. He speaks of moments in therapy where two people meet in a state of shared presence and authenticity - beyond words, roles, or techniques.

It also felt akin to the Va in Samoan culture - a sacred relational space that holds deep respect and mutual presence.

Spirituality and Self-Care

My spiritual life isn’t just for my clients - it’s also for me. When I feel depleted, I turn to meditation, reflection, and stillness. These practices not only sustain me but help me show up as a more present, attuned counsellor.

Mindfulness, for example, helps me witness not just my clients’ processes, but my own. It invites curiosity over judgment, and gratitude over perfectionism.

Final Thoughts

Spirituality isn’t just “one more thing” to consider in therapy - it’s a vital thread in the tapestry of wellbeing. It asks us to look beyond symptoms, to explore meaning, purpose, and belonging. To hold space not just for healing, but for transcendence.

Whether it shows up as faith, mystery, culture, nature, or breath - it deserves a place in the room.

If spirituality is part of your healing journey - or something you’re still figuring out - I welcome it in our work together.